Meaningful Things

2004-07-23T23:33:00.000-07:00

OI VEY! EBAY(tm)!

See how it just takes a moment of FRUSTRATION to get my blogging-ass in gear again! I've just had the most irritating e-bay experience. I'll start off by saying that pretty much I was in the wrong on this one, which is what just pisses me off even more. So that being made clear my second statement shall be that I am not a pathological 'eBayer' I have probably bought a half a dozen items over the course of a couple of years. The reason I'm not more into ...well that I'm about to explain.

So here's the deal. I bought some item, what the item was - is not important. Okay, whom am I kidding, like a vintage green tupperware(tm) cake-taker ISN'T important? Of course it's important! And it's one of the few things that will get me to log onto ebay and get sucked into bidding for things that I don't really need. One of the reason I avoid ebay is because I generally am looking for such low cost items (less than twenty bucks usually!) that I get very frustrated by how much of what I am bidding on is called "postage and handling".

Before I start getting nasty retorts from you avid sellers that will lecture me for hours on the woes of bubble-wrap and Canada Post - hear me out. This last particular transaction was with a couple that lives only a couple of hours from me. I actually go OUT OF MY WAY to only bid on items that are geographically close to me. It started as a convenience so that I didn't have to hassle with having things shipped across the border and the complications that sometimes happen with customs, distance, et cetera. Now I think I look for promixity as part of my search almost to prove a point. Because I am having a hard time understanding why an item that I paid five dollars for PLUS another 8 dollars in postage shows up with a ninety cent stamp on it.

Case in point - my "cake taker". The seller listed shipping and handling as $8.50US in the alloted 'space' allowed by ebay and then in the description they said that shipping would $6US to the United States and for Canadians and other countries to email for a quote. As luck would have it, no one else seemed to be particularly interested in cake-takers that week and so I won the bid. I emailed the seller, provided postal code, and asked what the rate would be. The seller listed the town they lived in so I also offered to pick up the item since I happened to be passing through on my way to Edmonton that weekend.

Three days went by, I did not hear from the seller, my trip through their town had come and went. So I paid for the item via pay pal and paid $6 for the shipping and handling (I actually manually deducted 2.50 off the prescribed price as I was operating under the assumption that at $6 to the US, it would be even less to Calgary). Now here's the irony, as I was doing the transaction an email from them appeared in my inbox. Very polite, to the point, apologizing for a delay in their response due to internet connectivity issues, telling me that they did not allow people to pick up items and that shipping would be $8.50.

Here's where I went wrong, I did not contact the seller immediately, I had already sent the funds, so I ignored the email assuming they would figure out what happened. Three weeks later I sent an email asking if my item had been shipped. Another prompt email saying that I short paid them. I again responded explaining my 'take' on the situation and asking if they had ever planned on contacting me since they were in possession of both my money and my item. Now to THAT I received a most DETAILED response. I assume it's a husband and wife team, I know not whom writes the emails, but this person took a great deal of time composing a lengthy (and rather smarmy) missive on how postage works for an ebay seller.

So how was I to know, apparently it's cheaper to ship to the US than to Canada! Hence the discount offered for US shipments. Whether that is true or not, I suppose, is really irrelevent to me at this point. The gist of the seller was that they wanted their short-changed $2.50US plus an additional $0.60US to cover Paypal charges. Included in the wordy response on how the world of E-bay does/should work was not at least a few drole remarks on my attitude towards this situation and how I really couldn't be expected to know any better as a realitively GREEN player in the world of online crap bidding. And to close-an ultimatum that should they not recieve their additional $3.10US they would be reselling my prescious cake-taker to another bidder and would be keeping the money I'd already sent as a re-stocking charge.

Well. I have to say, I was a little miffed! But I trying to be a rational and calm person I needed to supress my initial urge to bring D&M's Ebay empire to a crashing ruin. So I reviewed their add, took some time, read through their MANY references (these people have sold litterally thousands of items) and while I was of course, able to find a couple of negative responses, overall their record was pretty much stellar.

So what happened you wonder? Well I sent them their three dollars and TEN CENTS along with a reply that I hope was a little classier (yes, it was a bit drole too, but they certainly deserved at least that) and now I sit here, typing to no-one in particular but thinking that really SOMEONE must be to blame? Well I guess it's not really just with a single entity. As the buyer, yes, I should have read more closely, as a seller, yes, better efforts to communciate. And of course, the universe itself, is to blame - as emails were crossing in the night.

But above all - EBAY ITSELF. I did check to see my recourse if I had chosen not to pay. Unfortunately, not great options. Ebay really doesn't want to have anything to do with you unless the transaction is worth significant monies. Under forty bucks - don't both us. Over three hundred - we're not liable. They've obviously have a whole division dedicated to fraud but really with the monumental number of transactions they process they don't have time to make sure people are "happy". You can try and get your money back from PayPal - maybe. They have a "dispute resolution" service provider that will offer mediation services (for a fee!) between the buyer and seller (one would think that for eBay to capitalize on resolving a dispute would put them in a conflict of interest for doing anything proactive to PREVENT disputes in the first place???, oh well). But really there is no "Ebay Court" that will give one that satisfaction they so desperately seek when your seven dollar piece of plastic ends up not being made up of the stuff of dreams you had envisioned when you so anxiously bid and counted down the seconds until the auction closed.

So that's really my issue. Yeah Ebay is cool. I think it's amazing. I think the concept is amazing. What's unfortunate is you still have this component where you are dealing with people, and well people just tend to fuck things up or let pride, anger, lack of communication get in their way. What really concerns me is that for some people (many people) this is a way of life, it IS their livelyhood. And so in a cyber-space where the premise used to be simple buyer is introduced to simple seller, instead it has turned into a situation where you are buying from a professional whom apparently has a basement full of garage-sale gargbage that they are now peddling on the internet. How does one reconcile a situation where the power of a volume seller so vastly outweighs that of an occassional buyer? My reputation would never hold up against a buyer of that size and the seller knows this. And so they can dangle the threat of a negatie feedback which would substantially damage my reference list where mine own feedback would be swallowed amongst the hundreds they have accumulated.

How do we keep business people honest now that we can't talk to them face to face? How do we plead a case when reactions are composed without the benefit of a personal interaction with a living human being? I think this will be ebays downfall. It won't be able to get bigger and better, just bigger and then disaster. Becauses greedy people, short-minded people, emotional people, will mess it up. It starts by trying to make a few extra dollars on "postage and handling" and collapses into a string of abusive emails. But that's okay, I have a thick skin.

In the end, I hope I did the right thing by folding like a cheap lawn chair and just sending D&M's eBay empire their three dollars (US). Ultimately, I HAD to have the cake-taker. Not because it's Tupperware(tm). Not because it's green. Not because it's vintage. But because, when I'm serving cake - now I have a story to tell.

2003-12-08T19:02:00.000-08:00

I forgot to tell you about the funny/stupid thing I did yesterday. Jon and Em came over for dinner. Before they arrived I had a batch of Potstickers in the steamer and I made up some dipping sauces. For one of them I just want oil and hot peppers. So I put about ten of these little dried peppers (my co-worker Anne grows them) in Robin's coffee grinder. Then I poured them, into the little ramekin with oil and was aggressively tapping the bottom of the grinder to get all the peppers out, which created a cloud of pepper dust, which I then inhaled.

This of course, triggered a reaction, like I'd been maced! So I started rubbing my eyes, not realizing that some of the powder had gotten onto my fingers. Jon and Em arrived a few moments later to find me crying in the kitchen at the culmination of my self infliced stupid chain of events.

Is that blog-worthy? I'll just blog it. I've read worse and the world needs to know the dangers of doing dim-sum at home.

A.

2003-12-02T11:38:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah, the play was awesome! My favourite characters: Carmen Gia and "Ulla". Go see it. Hilarious.

The Producers

2003-12-02T11:30:00.000-08:00

Sexual Pathology

Mr Toronto Leather

An interesting discussion last night with my friend G who is busy transforming himself into a 'Rig-Pig' (but that's best left for his own blog), we were talking about S&M and Sub/Dom relationships. Last night I arrived home from a weekend in Toronto. The purpose of the trip, and why we had booked it over a month ago, was to go see the Musical: "The Producers" with some friends of ours who had scored tickets. I went with Chaz and we discovered shortly before leaving Calgary that our visit coincided with the "Mr Toronto Leather" weekend, which apparently brings in over a thousand fetish men and woman for various events all culminating in a huge "Leather Party" (primarily late night-early morning circuit party) on Saturday night. Of course Chaz and I were thrilled, GRRRRR...just our "type" of furry rough guys in abundance! I even checked into the Ramada (thanks to "Tom" by the way for upgrading me to a suite - you rock) to find the place littered with men in buttless-chaps (I love saying THAT). Turns out I was at he host-hotel.

As it turned out Chaz and I made it to a couple of the meet-and-greats at the Eagle but we didn't go to the big party on Saturday night as the friends we were with in Toronto were resistant that "sort" of event.

There's the background. Now to the conversation with G, who had been giving us all sort of tips for things to do in Toronto as that's where he's from. The discussion centered around whether there is a pathology around this sort of fetish community. I mean, how can a thousand guys in buttless chaps staying at the Ramada be wrong?

It is interesting how being gay, being out, the next natural step would be to display your sexual fantasies for one and all. Of course, some find it offensive, many that do are even conservative gay persons that feel that fetish community hinders the gay-movement by creating a stereotype that homosexuals are promiscuous and all about sex.

Are there developmental psychological pathologies behind persons that have sexual fetishes? What's a fetish? Don't confuse this with "consent", the assumption for this discussion is that we are dealing with one hundred percent consentual adults. However where is the line that an activity in which you participate with an agreed partner is mentally healthy? Is it okay to pee on someone in order to humiliate them and in effect trigger a sexual orgasm. Is there anything wrong with wanting to be spanked and called dirty names in midst of "love-making"?

Above that, how do we feel about a community of people that flaunt that aspect of their personality. Let's not use "flaunt" pejoratively, I think Mr Leather Toronto, while has a tag line of promoting acceptance and understanding. It's really just about meeting like-minded people. I am also probably biased as being gay I have more exposure to that community. Obviously there are all sort of heterosexual groups promoting and mingling because of their sexual fetish.

____________________________________________________
Allow me a tangent on "the CONTEST" portion of this Mr. Leather Toronto event. This is what personally I probably find most dissapointing about the leather community. How do you have a "Mr Leather Contest", and what is the purpose of the winner? Supposedly he is an abassador for the male leather fetishists everywhere. How can you be an "fetish abassador"? Who's fetish? You can only be an ambassador to your own fantasies!

Isn't there a certain paradox in chosing a single individual to represent the views of such a diverse group? And believe me, it IS DIVERSE! I'm not saying it's wrong to chose this respresentative but let's call it for what it really is, - MARKETING: A group of 'contestants' step forward and select judges interview, review them, for their attitude, their look, et cetera and the objective: to boil off a diverse group of sexual desire and fantasy and homogenize it into a single invididual that represents the safest, most hyper-masculine, and over-all "pleasing" perspective of our fantasy-kinky-man.

In other words, it's really just a beauty contest.

And while that sells tickets and brings in the crowd, let's face it - we now expose ourselves to the same psychological danger surrounding all beauty contests. Now social convential is telling us who and what is beautiful, masculine and the acceptable role model for kinky. We fall into the trap of wanting to be THAT PERSON or at the very least associate with that person! Rather, then seeing inner beauty (isn't that what being kinky is all about? - something on the "inside"?). Corny. I know. But true. And probably a more dangerous pathology than the fetish itself. But I digress...___________________________________________________________

What offends me when going to these events is the degree of the activities on display. "Offend" is a strong word, perhaps 'mild-shock' is better. As a student of human nature, there is nothing really offensive, it's all fascinating to see and watch and to be honest, I'm more interested in the psychology behind being so bold to the world about your activity then the "activity" itself. What is perversion? Who has the right to decide what is perverse and what is normal? In some ways there is a refreshing honesty and transparency behind these leather-events. All is on display and it is up to the buyer to decide whom and what they want. An argument could probably be made that persons who engage in an initial relationship based strictly on like sexual desires end up more committed, loving, healthy relationship. There is an openness and awkwardness that never had to be worked around, and likely they may have much more in common because they had similar catalyst through their psychological development that brought them to the same sexual fantasies.

Try this experiment (I have, it's interesting), next time you're with a sexual partner, just as they are masturbating their self close to sexual climate. Become aggressive. Push them back firmly. Squeeze their nipple. Slide your tongue along their neck, insert your fingers into their mouth and twist their head to the side so you can move your warm lips in close to their ear and in a low harsh whisper say "c'mon you little cum-whore, fucking shoot that load for Daddy". You might be surprised to feel them lurch and shudder, as they ripple with an amazing orgasm. I suspect all of us have a side that wants to be dominated. Release of control to another person. Or just being led down a dark corridor of someone's else mind and having a glimpse of something forbidden.

My biggest, perhaps - disappointment with the leather fetish community. Is that SO MUCH is put on display. Exposure to it breeds a certain apathy, eventually the excitement is stripped and you become desensitizing to the most provocative of activities. Check out the profiles on gay.com, we reduce ourselves to nothing more than a string of acronymic codes that advertise our fantasies.

Hi! I'm Alex. I'm into : ws,ff,b&d,cbt,tt,scat,pnp,kink,boys,toys, tats, muscles, sweat, trannies,leather,rubber, dogs, goats, corpses, looking for a hairy smooth fat thin tall guys on the short side, me:versatile, well rounded. Have a nice day!

I applaud the gays. Kudos for not beating around the bush!

I applaud those "out to your kink". Good for you for finding a vehicle to explore and your desires and find like minded persons!

I also applaud those that tread more lightly. That still want to keep part of themselves a secret for only a select few people to slowly discover and enjoy. Those that recognize the danger of homogenization and want the "erotic" to not become pedestrian or comical.

There is a pathology on both ends of the spectrum. Those that want to wear a collar, eat out of a dogdish and serve your master. You're the same as that person who leaps out bed in shock and disgust when someone whispers in your ear that you're a "cum-whore". Both of you: sex fiend, prude - get some help!

2003-11-24T18:51:00.000-08:00

Walking through Prince's Island Park today on the way to work, off the side of the path is a slope where a mother was toboganing with her kids. What a flashback! To a times of snowsuits, red dripping noses, numb fingers inside moist wool mittens. But such fun and exhilaration as the snow would hit our faces.

You could see the fear and excitement in her son's eyes as he got behind her on the sled. I should have taken the day off work and found my old sled. Oh well. Bah humbug - I hate winter!

2003-11-24T18:31:00.000-08:00

Here's a picture of me when I was just back (and tanned) from Europe. Oh....to be young again.......

2003-11-12T18:39:00.000-08:00

The TUPPERWARE slash LIFE OF PI postings......series of emails between Trisha and Myself....

Alex:

I thought I saw you in the lobby of ShawCourt today walking towards the
elevator. I was so excited I almost tackled this poor woman. Turns out, when
she turned around and maced me, it wasn't you.

How's it going?

Trisha:

Hey Alex!
So how was the weekend? How did everything go? did you bestow them with
amazing amounts of fun???
So so so sorry for not calling Sunday night - thank you for the
invitation, sorry i treated it so badly! we ended up getting back pretty
late. OMG alex - the hike was with the alpine club, and hoioooooooolyu
assume you chose to believe - you ha
schmokes, i am sooooooo out of shape compared to those people. they are
like mountain goats. meanwhile, i felt like i had a mountain goat
strapped to each leg as i struggeled to keep up with them!
we hiked for about 10hrs - went to the top of mt. borgeau - have you
been? amazing views from the top. it was an amazing hike, but i have got
to take some drastic action to get in some reasonable sort of shape if i
ever do another with them again, which i would like i to i think.
now, are you going to the TP tonight? want me to swing by and collect
you on the way? let me know. trisha.

Alex:

Hi Trisha

Had a great weekend - I'll tell you about it tonight. I am picking up Janice
at the Y at 6:30 before we head up to Chuck's. Do you want to be
incorporated into that? Do you know how to get up there? I have no problem
giving you a life, are you going home after work first? What are your plans?

Trisha:

Hey Alex! If you can give me a life, that would be fantastic. As for a lift,
I think I am set¯ thanks for the offer though - I convinced my friend Carrie
to come, so I am going to swing by and get her after work, and then i think
just head straight over to chuck's, so I guess we'll see you there! 7pm,
right? Chuck sent me the directions - from the sounds of it, i should have
left hours ago already!

Alex:

Trisha

Is dragging you out to Tupperware parties not giving you a life? What more
could you ask for?

Actually I had a great time last night, and I have to admit I'm quite
excited about receiving my state-or-the-art, guaranteed-for-life,
manufactured-from-virgin-material - plastic, "object d'art"! I'm not sure I
can contain myself (get it?) for the next three weeks, there's something to
be said from the instant gratification of going to a department store and
just GETTING your item right then and there!

So I feel like we've only skimmed the surface of 'Life of Pi', I was
thinking about it my entire walk to work. Especially your comment on how the
whole book is an allegory for religion. You're on to something there for
sure. I was thinking about how the book wrapped up - in the end you were
left with a choice, to believe or not to believe. Isn't religion really just
that? A miraculous story and in the end all that is left is for the
individual to execute an extreme act of faith.

Hmm, we need to go for coffee to discuss further, or alternatively you get a
job downtown and we can resume going for falafel at lunch?

Let me know which you prefer.

Regards,
Alex

Trisha:

Hey Alex! i had a great time last night too - i'm having a bit of
post-purchase cognative dissonance however, wishing i had extended the
budget just a little more for the sake of a flexi-lid. although definitely
into the whole instant gratification too, i also love the positive
anticipation aspect of the delayed delivery.

I too feel like we've only skimmed the surface of LOP - i think we should
definitely meet for cawfee or something so we can pursue further (also, we
never talked about your weekend as host!). LOVE what you say below - that's
so totally excellent - believe or not believe, and up to you to execute an
extreme act of faith. Brilliant!! That made me think as well: perhaps it's
also a commentary on the interpretation aspect of the bible, and even more
generally, religion. assume you chose to believe - you have this story that
is miraculous, does it really matter the form in which you choose to believe
- in the case of the bible, we have the choice of taking a literal
interpretation, or a more figurative on - so do we want to believe that he
endured all those days in the company of Richard, or do we want to believe
that he was Richard in his imagination? Doesn't really matter - either way
you choose to accept it (assuming you do accept his story of survival in the
first place), at the base of it, you have the miraculous piece of it,
survival of a little boy at sea, whole and in-tact.
In the more general case of religion, does it matter what form our god or
whatever takes? at the base of it, you have the same fundamental tenants of
most religions. so does it really matter which one you pick?
hmmm, do you think we are over-thinking this?

Best regards,

Trisha.

Alex:

Trisha

Sorry, it has been a over a week before I got back to this thread. That is
approximately how long it takes me to work through your sesquipedalian, and
most clever emails, and then formulate a response! Richard Flannagan has
nothing on you. You: "cunning linguist", you! (don't you love saying that?
Sounds so...dirty).

Yes I am experiencing the same sort discord after the whole TP party. But
it's just a maelstrom of emotions! On one hand - I spent too much, on the
other - I could have bought so much more! Whom would call it "retail
therapy"? There's nothing therapeutic about it. "Shopping" just fills me
with indecision, excitement, compunction, lust, envy and a general need to
reassemble my shattered psyche as the whole experience ends; and I wait in
apprehensive consternation and regret for my next VISA(tm) bill.

Yeah, I like the anticipation too, but I suspect I lack your gentle patience
- when the F*#&# are my stacking bowls going to arrive? And how have I lived
until now WITHOUT THEM??

As for LOP. Agreed. Definitely a juice conversation. I agree with you on
your comment on the form of belief. Is it really important if the basis of
faith is one of tangibility and substance or just figurative? Perhaps
belief; in itself, is only bettered by being built on a foundation of the
spectacular and incorporeal? Isn't it really speculation of the incredulous
that makes "belief" exciting, and therefore worthwhile?

It's interesting that it does in a way tie to our "fish project", I think
one of Flanagan's themes is the danger of classification. Gould wrestles
with man's mortal happiness and whether or not we "lose the love" once we
have divined all there is to know.

Don't you just love it when one book segues into the next!

Let's wait until the Book of Fish pressure is off, then we will have more
time to discuss Pi! In the meantime I'm gnawing on Ayn Rand's
"Fountainhead". That should take me some time, but then we can discuss at
length her (and our) theories on "Objectivism".

Keep reading. See you next week.

Yours (believe it or not),

Alex

Trisha:

ALEX!!!!! YOU SHOULD BE A WRITER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hey, wanna co-author a book
- maybe after we learn to play the guitar and learn to draw from the right
side of the brain?

thanks for the fab email, brining a HUGE smile to my day.

full response to follow in due course...

Alex:

Perhaps, in due course, someone will consider just publishing our emails? A
co-authored and ORIGINAL concept!

But would it be interesting, and more importantly - lucrative?

Just think of all the flex-lids a "Best Seller/Pulitzer" would buy us?

A.

There! Now they are published forever (weblog). When do we start getting the cheques?

2003-10-31T12:00:00.000-08:00

Carol, my colleague, who runs up and down the silly stairs voluntarily which I HAVE to climb every day, wore her costume to work. This year she is ROY. From Sigfried and Roy, complete with Tiger on her back and maul-marks. She's hilarous.

Happy Halloween Everyone!

2003-10-31T11:57:00.000-08:00

I think the "Tupperware(tm) Emails" may be lost forever. Trisha is trying to recover them. In the meantime ...APPARENTLY...this 'blog material'.....

From G To Moi:
honey -- in case you have not noticed -- this is blog material.

Previously From Moi to GREG:

>
>Gol I hate it when my job interrupts our deep conversations. Just a quick
>note because I do want to finish that conversation about our
>'over-medicated' society, which I do believe is a real problem.
>
>I would like to finish hearing what you have to say about how the aviation
>industry regulates pilots (further evidence that we don't really understand
>how these drugs affect us).
>
>I also wanted to make two other points. One, an example of, especially in
>the USA, how medication is marketed to the general public. Radio, TV
>commercials, Internet. It's amazing that they actually have a mechanism to
>reach the common person and convince them of an "empathy" disorder that is
>highly suggestive in diagnosing but supposedly can be treated chemically.
>Just seems like a recipe for disaster and a means to addict an entire
>society.
>
>Secondly, I wanted to tell you about a conversation which I had with
>Louise,
>who used to be (well still it) a pharmacist. She told me some very
>interesting things, from the perspective of someone working in the
>industry.
>How the drug companies manipulate the market, the doctors, the healthy care
>system. Drug companies are often buying favour with doctors by giving them
>gifts and even sending them on vacations. A lot of that results in abuse of
>insurance systems, because a doctor doesn't really care about prescribing a
>more expense drug if the patient has a good health plan. She also said she
>knows of at least one example of a chemist who invented a break-through
>drug
>that would have been the a viable and possibly more effective replacement
>to
>an already existing but more expensive drug. The patent for that solution
>was bought out by a large drug company, which then swept it under the
>carpet. For all we know, the cure for cancer could have been invented by
>now, but cancer is profitable for drug companies (sometimes I worry that
>I'm
>sounding like my over-paranoid mother).
>
>The point is, while medical breakthrough are always in the limelight I
>think
>it's really just all about making money. Here's one area where you
>philosophies on 'complete transparency' would be very appropriate.
>
>We'll dissect it more later!
>
>A
>

2003-09-23T15:18:00.000-07:00

An email from on of my dearest (and obviously, female) friends. She rocks:

Alex:

I went for my ultrasound yesterday. Ever have one? You're supposed to drink 4 - 8 oz. glasses of water two hours before the exam and you're not supposed to pee. I drank two glasses about one hour before and then walked over to Gulf Square to the lab. By the time I got to Banker's Hall I was looking for a flower pot to pee in. Oh my lordie did that hurt. I finally found a washroom and peed a bit and desperately hoped I hadn't let out too much. By the time I got into the exam room, I was in tears. She quickly checked me out and said "go pee about a cup's worth". During her exam, she actually confirmed I have a petite bladder. Isn't that the height of irony. My ass could stop a Mac truck, but I have a petite bladder. Makes me want to go out and slit my wrists. So, the exam is done and she says "I'd like to check out your uterus". Now if that's a pick up line, her delivery is all wrong. She said the probe has to be inserted and she asked if I was okay with that. I'm thinking "afternoon delight" and promptly and eagerly say "sure". She picks up this probe and actually put a condom on it (who says Alberta Health doesn't play safe?). She hands it to me and says "you put it in and I'll manipulate it after that". Afternoon delight suddenly turned very clinical. Anyway, I won't bore you with the details after that except that I was finally able to pee. At the height of pain if someone would have offered me a Bounty bar or the chance to pee, I would have passed on the Bounty. That's how bad it hurt, Alex.

Anyway, hope you're having a great day. Be thankful you don't have a uterus. I'll be there for you when your prostate goes haywire!

2003-09-03T11:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm back. I was inspired by a blog from Toronto..."DeadRobot" way to go! Well also, because Greg asked if I'd blogged anything recently and I feel this strange need to not let him down. So here goes.....I have no idea what's about to happen.....

I've been flirting with the idea of discussing "relationship stuff" on the BLOG. You'd think it would be the perfect forum and well what's more "meaningful" than our closest relationships? However, once things are typed down and posted, one can't really undo that. So it's something that needs to be treaded on with care and then considerations as to who REALLY reads the blog must be exercised! Let's let that marinate. In the meantime, a realationship-seague......

Sunday Last (August 31st, 2003): my baby sister is married. Her and Shawn make a beautiful couple. I love them both. The wedding was perfect and romantic and took place in a garden of an historic home, the interior of which became the location of the reception and subsequent dance. Intimate at fifty people, apparently the ones she loves most in life. Anyway, I said it all in my toast to the bride, so I'm not going to rehash it at length, but it's worth mentioning because she is one of the most "meaningful things" in my life. Amanda: beautiful - inside and out, devoted mother, stellar communicator and listener, loyal friend, life time confident, friend to our planet and the creatures upon it and an exceptionally dedicated person when it comes to her personal ethics, beliefs and principles. She rocks. And I wasn't lieing when I said guys still lean over and say to me, "gosh your sister is HOT".

Congratulations Amanda and Shawn.

2003-07-01T23:40:00.000-07:00

We're standing around the island in Chuck's kitchen eating M&M appetizers and drinking Crantinis.

Ernie: Chuck, You know you can also bake THESE?

Chuck: WHAT??!! I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the CACKLING of the deep fryer.

2003-06-13T09:28:00.000-07:00

Email FROM Janice:

A.

On my way to work I found a bird's wing. I looked around for the bird and couldn't find it. I've always wondered when I see a shoe or sock by the side of the road, but here's a bird without a wing. Should I post a notice in the trees? It couldn't have gotten very far. Oh the mysteries of life. Screw the pyramids (they had 1,000,000 Hebrews).

J.

2003-04-14T16:17:00.000-07:00

Email to Jance and Trisha:

Okay. - so I just yanked a Kleenex(tm) out of the box ...AND.......the one
that sprang up after it was a different colour!!!!

I almost died! Have you ever heard of anything like that? Half way through
the box they just switch from white to YELLOW!!!!????

Crazy eh? It must be some sort of omen.

Email FROM Janice:

Actually yes. And it isn't half way through, I think it's the last 10 so
you know you're almost out. Hmmm, welcome to 2003!

Email FROM Trisha:

OMG - quick, did you check the sides and bottom of the box to see if this indicates some prize winning or anything??

Email TO Janice:

OH. Well now I just feel dumb. I just checked and I think you're right - the
box is getting PRETTY low! And here I'd convinced myself that the universe
was sending me a message to go downstairs and buy a Bounty bar.

damn.

Email FROM Janice:

Well that is an alternate school of thought. I wish you hadn't mentioned a Bounty bar. I've been holding off on succumbing now for over a week.

Email TO Trisha:

Okay, I need to calm down. I just checked with the Kleenex(tm) expert (Janice) and she told me (quite dryly I might add) that it simply means I'm almost to the bottom of the box. Well how about that? I checked and sure enough there appear to only be about 10 left, I'm debating taking the box apart to find out at exactly how-many-left before they do start to send you these "messages". Anyway - welcome to 2003!

And here I had convinced myself that the universe was sending me a message to go downstairs and buy a Bounty Bar.

damn.

Email FROM Trisha:

oh (big) brother! that is craaaaaaazy. i have never heard of that before! i did, however, speak to a couple from russia recently who had immigrated to canada a few years ago, who are now in the process of moving back to russia on the grounds that they are afraid that living in north america will make them passive thinkers. until now, i had now idea to what they could have possibly been referring to...okay, notwithstanding the that, the bounty bar msg is more than clear (go get one)!!!

PostScript: There was a subsequent phone call between Janice and Alex discussing her startling experience with a sudden Kleenex(tm) colour change.

I never DID get my Bounty Bar.

2003-04-09T16:27:00.000-07:00

Wow. March 20th was my last post. I have to make an entry - mostly because I don't want to dissapoint Greg. Here we go.......

Denver Airport

Chaz: "Check out this girl, she's like 7 and she's all dressed by Mattel".

She was. It was out of control - Barbie Pants, Barbie Back Pack, Shiney Heart Barbie Belt, Butterfly Barbie Purse. Her mother evidently went on a shopping binge at K-Mart. We couldn't help staring and they sat down directly across from us. Uhg. 6 hour layovers. 7yr old Barbie Pusher Girl was rummaging through her purse and found a little box of mints, she was shaking the pills out of the container and her mother wanted one.

Chaz (doing 7yr old Barbie Pusher Girl impression): "Mom, I didn't know you did Ecstacy?"

Chaz (doing 38yr old mom that gives her daughter everything): "Shutup and give me a fricken pill."

Girl continues to rummage.....

Chaz: She's probably looking for a tampon.
Alex: It's a called a 'Training-Tamp', it's by Mattel.

They get up and leave because I think mom over heard us and we can't stop laughing.

Uhg, 6 hour layover.

We pass on the offer of a free flight anywhere in the continental US on United in exchange for taking a later flight. Kicking ourselves now. Oh well, Chapter 11 - they'd probably be out of biz before we get to use it.

2003-03-20T10:08:00.000-08:00

How significant is the birth of a new website? There must be a new one every nano-second. Speaking of "birth", I just came from the men's room where I gave birth to three little brown babies. There was someone in the stall next to me. Normally I'm not chatty when my pants are around my ankles but he made the first noise. And it was LOUD (and wet). So I said, "Mmmmm, someone needs some more fibre in their diet!".

(silence)

"Uh HELLO??? I know someone is there - it's not LIKE I can't hear you!"

Why do people have this phobia about being identified in the washroom? I suppose it's not like I haven't had to wait-out a loud bowel movement before the coast is clear. (I hate people that take twenty minutes to wash their hands and comb their eyebrows while I sit there getting toilet-bum, willing them to leave.).

This seems like a good place to start (and end). More Meaningful Things to come - don't worry. Maybe we'll even talk some politics tomorrow. GB has launched his plan to take over the world. It should be interesting to see how this all unfolds.

"Only the spoon knows what stirs in the pot" - Sicilian proverb.